We do have the advantage when it comes to getting outside contractors at a reasonable price. That's because my husband is "from around here." Other folks in our little middle-of-nowhere addition aren't so lucky. They have to pay the "lake people" price.

Of course, my husband never mentions that the "from around here" part was from way back. Most of his life has been as a "city boy." Some big cities; some smaller. Of course, some people who've lived here all their lives define the "big city" as a population of around 50,000. We're thinking more in the upper 6 figures and well into 7, when you include our past lives in Sydney, Boston, and San Francisco. So, we now enjoy heading to the "big cities" of Longview or Tyler or Texarkana whenever we get the chance. (woo hoo - seriously)

But that was just a bit off-subject. What we tell the occasional noobs moving in from some "big city" is there's still a trick to actually get people to tone down the pricing part.

You simply say you "live out in the country."

Not at the lake. That gets contractors all in a froth to overcharge. One - they don't like lake people (those snooty ex-city folks). Second - there's this concept of mansions and three-bedroom boathouses (that's the lake over from ours).

So, once they arrive and actually see it really is "out in the country," they'll all softened up to be somewhat reasonable. That's still not quite as good as being "from around here."

Our zealous homeowners board members have decided it's time to put thieves on alert. So, these itsy, bitsy, teeny, tiny signs have been installed. They're in all the places a future burglar will be apt to stop and have a look.

They do become readable when you're about three feet away - and on foot. I do think a thief will have other things on his/her mind - as in scoping the neighborhood - than stopping to see this special message.

P.S. Post installation, neighbors did experience a  theft (the first) in our little lake community. A drive-by snagged a bike and a fancy satellite radio (plus the antenna, which was snapped off). Must have been too dark to read the sign. Our trusty local sheriff's department went to work and recaptured the goods; they got the rustlers, too!

I'm sure these signs are scaring everyone else off, don't you think?

Our new boat. Now, here's another magnet for attracting friends and family. It actually started with a Bass Pro Christmas gift card for my bro-in-law. As a thank you, Bass Pro sent us their fishing catalog. The catalog became conjoined to my husband's hands for weeks. By late spring, those famous little words came up:

"We're not getting any younger."

That's sweet talk for "We need a boat."

You see, Bass Pro has pages of Tracker boats in their catalog. Nice.

Of course, the perfect one was sitting among the fine print in all its beauty. It's a Fishin' barge dressed up as a party pontoon. Live wells (for the fish - yes, I'm learning about that) fore and aft (that's front and back for us lubbers). Seats from which to comfortably cast in the aforementioned spots. On the party side, there are drink holders everywhere, plus a sofa, a table, and a cubby for the cooler. Even better, it will hold 13 people - although I'm not sure where all of them would actually sit - or have room to mingle with martinis in hand.

This particular boat also has a "changing room." We're not sure why it's called that. How many wardrobe changes do you take on board when you're fishing? It's really a "chamber" area. That translates to a private space for a port-a-potty. The top lifts and a drape drops down for (almost) full enclosure. Really nice. As we've found out, most folks just use a coffee can around here. Now we're upscale, see?

The guys are most impressed, however, with one little nicety: the SINK. Yes, folks, this fishing/party barge has a real sink with a faucet and everything. Now you can wash your hands on board after you visit the "changing room," handle the freshly-caught fish, and before you serve "martinis to 13 people."

This is the same boat we have not had any martinis on, yet - and certainly have failed miserably at catching any fish. We're working on both.

Meet Yachtzy.